My name is Eoin O'Guinness, and I'm the tallest leprechaun ever to walk the earth. Give me a camán and a goal and I'll be the quickest and most violent, too. And I currently live on the crazy, non-Irish side of the Atlantic, where they use these things called "dollars" and have never heard of hurley.
I'm also a recovering alcoholic, a total dickhead, and the best accent mimic this side of my spiritual father, Dave Allen (may he rest in peace among aaaaaaaall the angels, as Gramma used to say).
In other words, I'll be the best Taoiseach Ireland's ever had, when I get there. And all shall know the name of Eoin O'Guinness MacPaddy O'Malley Costigan!